Then I Found Out What Was Really Going On. Ironically, one of the single men I worked with got fired for a ridiculously blown out of proportion sexual harassment claim while this was going on. While they may say it's strictly friendship, it usually always ends up in bed at one time or another if they're going out like that without their partner. It doesn't really matter what their motivation is, it is your actions that will control whether it goes further. If you trust her, I really don't think it's a big deal. Our R M Mavash. When I met my husband, he had a good friend at work, a single girl, who is EXTREMELY flirtatious, and at least a little annoying. Did he actually love me? She can meet you and the children. That said, 7-8 hours does seem like a long time. He plays like it's a middle school. Registered in England. I think having a few drinks with colleagues is normal. But even if for some reason I did this, I'd plan to stay out for an hour. If you have to go meet the friend for dinner, you should bring your significant other along. brokenangel1, August 19, 2014 in General Relationship Discussion, My wife has worked with these two male co-workers for few years. If we leave work at 5 and stay out until midnightor later. Bills tone, per my friend, conveyed indignation that such an insulting possibility had even been considered. We had different work schedules and it created an uncomfortable dynamic in that sense. It is a new kind of civil war between women that is going on while the. He's happily married,we talked alot obout his DW who I don't know, and his DC. She use to be a cyber girl some years back, before she had an interest to work, its strange how people change through the years. Usually they openly hit on me, which makes it easy to identify them. Before we went back to the office she mentioned we should do dinner next time. I'm [43F]now and my husband is [46M] and we've been married for almost 20 years. Another married male colleague and I go out quite often for a drink or to run errands or whathaveyou and it couldn't be more platonic, and again, his wife is completely cool with it. I can't say I have kept to either of them. answers from Chicago on October 30, 2008. The denial stage Studies show that it's more likely that a woman initiates a divorce than a man. That's nuts! The main common denominator was that when I didn't respond, they didn't continue the attention. Hence, it's difficult to discuss matters with men about their failing marriage. Sorry hun, but alarm bells would be going off in my head :( You need to tell your husband how much this affecting you and that you either want to meet her, or you want him to end the "friendship" (and I would hardly call it worthwhile friendship if he doesn't even want his friend to meet the most important person in his life!). Servedcold, I can definitely see you becoming a lot more enticing to all the females if they thought you made that much everyday. She said they have asked her many times to come out and she has turned them down because Iwouldn'tt come along and the one time she says yes I freak out on her. reader, loony89+, writes (12 September 2013): A Location: California Posted August 19, 2014 No, it's not fine. All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft, Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column. While they can be highly effective in reducing pain, they also come with a high risk of addiction and overdose. Who wants to live with someone like that? My oh had a work friend like that, it turns out she was in love with him. Knowing now what I know now from all I've read on ENA, I would never consider a relationship with someone who attempted to have an emotional affair with me. A woman with two kids told me that the idea of her husband spending precious free time away from the family with anyonefemale or male, sexually compatible or notwho wasnt a longtime friend would make her jealous. Comments. His family will always come first, and that . It doesn't mean you should divorce, but you should certainly clarify your expectations and where the boundaries are. male from one night of drinking too much to divorce court. Is it fine for my wife to go out drinking with male co-workers for 7 hours. First of all, I won't judge you if you're that man, but the Bible does tell us that if a man marries, he will forsake other relationships in favour of his wife. Only fools fall in love with married men. LOL. She said she was just waiting to sober up to drive home. So draw that boundary that doesn't allow them opportunities to flirt or say/do things that might lead you down that road. Look, this might sound simple, but it's true. Going for a drink with a married man? He asked me and DC's to stay with his family in the summer. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. One man said the possibility of a straight man thinking about his wife in a sexual way while alone with her made him uneasy even though he wasnt worried about infidelity per se. Mike wasn't the only married man I'd been involved with. If I were you called the police already. I feel really grateful for all the feedback. What if an attractive area parent brought his or her kid over for a play date while you were at work? Its up to us, as always, to keep each other happy by working out the rules on our own. They are pleasant to one another, but they don't make close friends or engage in heavy flirtation with people they work with. Christmas he doesnt want to spend it with me or nye. Yet now I look at all my male friends and colleagues and think - is he having an affair? Fortnite 2. I'm going out tomorrow afternoon with a married male coworker - his wife sent me a "hello" as a matter of fact. There's so many ways to do this: go out with some girlfriends, jump on some dating apps, or sign up for a blind date. Nobodies going to win at this back and forth anger, remarks and hurt. On the other hand, though, since I don't have first hand experience with infidelity, I'm worried there may be more subtler red flags I'm ignoring or not noticing. I find that really strange. It's a confidence booster Flirting with an unavailable man can make you feel good about yourself without any pressure to. I think you are doing the right thing by broaching the subject before he goes away, get it all out in the open and try to get to the bottom of it once and for all. I don't see the problem with friends of the opposite sex when you are in a relationship but this is quite different. I agree. the problem is that what is your wife doing while the GF . It's common for a woman to go on a spending spree and buy new clothes, jewelry, and other luxury items when she falls in love with someone else. The length of this visit merits a calm discussion to assure the behavior isn't repeated routinely. Appropriate boundaries with married peopleRed flags to look for? I wake up at like 5:30 am not feeling well and notice she is not home. DIGITAL SPY, PART OF THE HEARST UK ENTERTAINMENT NETWORK. As social media continues to grow in popularity, more and more people are turning to platforms like TikTok for mental health advice. 1000Lb Sisters star Amy Slaton has split from her husband, Michael Halterman, it has been claimed. I believe there are other factors to take into consideration. Would you be as bothered if it was a man? I guess it is also about the venue and location. what do I do? ", I reply saying "well you get off at 2am and I got up at 8am this morning for work so yeah.im not even going to be awake then and if I am, no way I will be able to out drinking. His words said no but his actions usually said yes. I wouldnt. Started November 16, 2022, I'm constantly worried about doing inappropriate things that may inadvertently signal to a married man that I'm open to an affair. She did tell you and invite you. Room service and fresh linens and everybody all suited up and shit. (Still, he said, hed be OK with it.) Me, her, and her boyfriend. I would not be okay with that if the behavior were repeated over and over. OH is always keen to introduce me to his female friends and it's nice to spend time together in a big group. "Met at a firm conference. i have male friends who are married. I cannot for the life of me believe that it would be okay for a married woman to go AWOL with a bunch of drinking guy work friends and not come home till after the next day and then get upset because her husband is upset Start keeping a journal of everything, and I mean everything that happens, conversations, texts, emails, everything so that when you lawyer up you have a comprehensive account of all the **** she pulled. lavenderdove and COtuner, you both bring up good points. However, Donni mentioned, her 2am is 5pm to most folks. i would try to behave with him in a way that you would if his wife was there. And if for some reason time got away from me I'd call or text my husband so he wouldn't worry. I'm curious about the male perspective on this. Your affair with a married man will kick off with you realizing that you've fallen in love with a married man. He said all the classic lines, such as telling me he and his wife no longer had sex and that she no longer was in love with him, that she didn't understand him the way I did, that he was going to get divorced from his wife and wanted to be with me, etc. Finally she calls me back around 9:20 asking me whats up. Get her cell phone records and take a look at the volume of communication between her and this guy. I will also ask them how their wives and kids are, and talk to them about their family events if they try to take it personal or off track, to refocus them on their family rather than flirting with me. Of course, women have many reasons to smile. Fortunately, he got the message and stopped on his own accord. The minute he started talking to me in a way I knew intuitively and in my gut was inappropriate, I should have stopped talking to him completely. 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