What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for their birthday? It gets to you when every day is Saturday. Try these funny retirement one-liners to send them off with a laugh. The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. The guard grabs a hold of the lever, but just before he can pull, the engineer points up and says: "Oh hey, I think I see where the problem is". A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. Congratulations. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true}); An electrical engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, If you kiss me, Ill turn into a beautiful princess.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_7',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); He bends over, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket. Assume the can is open!. One liner tags: attitude, motivational, retirement, work. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. You have been to France before, monsieur? the customs officer asked, sarcastically. These Boots Give Me Arthritis by Nancy Sinatra. ", The other student replied that a blonde rode up to him, threw her bike on the ground, took off all her clothes, threw them on the ground and said, "Take whatever you'd like to have. Whos there? No, says the mathematician, All we know is that there is at least one sheep in Scotland, and that at least one side of that one sheep is black!. Are you looking for more retirement humor? He prayed Give me a sine.. Go away! said Myra. He says, I am a priest and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent. They throw the switch and nothing happens; so they figure God must not want this guy to die, and let him go. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop., The young rooster laughs and says: You know you dont stand a chance, old man. He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please". That doesnt work. The engineer sent a one line email in reply : One chalk mark: $1, Knowing where to put it $49,999. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!, One afternoon, an electrical engineering student was riding across campus on a shiny new bike. 5. The moral of this story is: Dont mess with the older, retired individuals of this world. Only one, but it will take him two or three days to complete the job. One can reduce the temperature of the fuel below the flash point; isolate the burning material from oxygen, or both. It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Academics never retire, they just lose their faculties. I pour some water in the flower vase, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! Says. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. . I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. You have more hair in your ears and nose than on your head. A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Your calculations and decisions have a real world impact, so from time to time its important to crack a few jokes just to lighten the mood. Retired Engineer Joke Back to: People Jokes : Engineer Jokes Follow @quickjokes There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. Roach. An elderly man remembers the good old days: When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single dollar bill and I would bring back five pounds of potatoes, two pounds of bread, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. See you in the Email! ", "Look, said the man. A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. What is the matter? the frog asked. You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you arent wearing any. This is beginning to look suspicious. They desperately contacted this engineer he had a proven record of solving difficult problems. Dont forget you can visit MyAlerts to manage your alerts at any time. You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you! After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. ", The vicar saw the green keeper walking by and shouted to him, "How come that group ahead of us are so slow?, The green keeper replied, "Oh, theyre all blind firemen. Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don't understand. Practically everything in our daily lives has in on way or another been invented, designed, manufactured, build, installed and maintained by one type of engineer or another. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back where it belongs, but first Ill water the flowers. What is so special about the age of sixty-five? I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him. The engineer goes second. Q: Whats a polar bear? The chemist tries to erode the can. Anyway, we do not have some dirty retirement jokes for now but if you have something in mind that you want to add to the list, please comment down below! Please sign up with your best email address. At the end of the day, he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, This is where your problem is.. Knock knock. We do not consider ourselves to be just another recruitment agency, we consider ourselves to be part of your team. Please add a link to this article. A: Antarctica! After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2','ezslot_24',627,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-narrow-sky-2-0'); One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, So, hows it going down there in hell?, Satan laughed and replied, Hey, things are going great. You finally have enough experience and then have to retire! The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. 02. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. Bobby Ray and Billy Bob were looking up at a flagpole. Q: Why did the Higgs Boson go to church? Roach who? Vehicle mechanics? ", The doctor added, "Yes, well done to you. They made it safely to the mountains and enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. That doesnt work either. Leave them in the comments section below. You've got an engineer? Talk about overreacting. You will never know when you need it. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool!". A: You Barium. The guard pulls the lever and the blade comes down but stops just inches short of the priest's head. Painters never retire, they just put a gloss on it. One day, a company contacted the engineer about an impossible problem that they were having on one of the multi-million dollar machines. Create an alert to follow a developing story, keep current on a competitor, or monitor industry news. Are you joking?, And the HR Manager said, Of course, but you started it.. Look what it has done to me. They re-tire every day. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. A distraught senior phoned her doctors office. Three guys go down to Vegas one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? At the conclusion of the test, one of the applicants was called into the manager's office. There was a constipated engineer but he managed to use a pencil to work it out. Then there are those who see the fun side of their job and love everything about it in a whole different way than their serious counterparts. Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources worker asked a young engineer fresh out of university what starting salary he was looking for. Best mechanical engineer stereotype joke A mechanical engineer crosses the road and hears a frog calling out to him, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." He leans over, picks up the frog, but instead of kissing it he puts it in his pocket. Knowing where to put it $49,999", She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.. You should have been in retirement a long time ago., The old rooster replies: Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. So we have clubbed together and bought Albert a dictionary.. Whos there? We still have some knock-knock jokes. Your email address will not be published. Roach you an email last week and Im still waiting for a response. New engineer: How do you estimate how long a project will take?, Engineer 1: Ill bet you couldnt name two structures that can hold water.. Two engineering school football teams were playing one another. The cars occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. I realize this is a serious problem, and Ill try to get some help for it, but first Ill check my email. By the way, what brought this up? Someone has left it on the kitchen table. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. Understanding Engineers #4 - Coming out of Retirement. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 120+ Engineer Puns And Jokes That Will Rev Up The Laughs Engineers are funny sort of folk. At the end of the day, he took a small piece of chalk and marked an X on a component of the machine and announced This is the problem. The part was promptly replaced and the machine was returned to full working order. He descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help me? Thats great. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first. Ill make sure they get the best treatment at the eye unit in the hospital too. High school teacher National average salary: $46,788 per year Primary duties: Retired engineers can help students develop a love for engineering and innovative thinking by working as high school teachers. The engineer lost his patience, "What's going on? He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. Retirees answer: Six Saturdays and one Sunday. A: For the mass. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, Im wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked NO REFILLS.. God must be an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system. Like the priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the marvelously good turn of fortune. But you can still celebrate and make retirement a funny thing! Weve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and theres no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next., Gods face clouded over and he exploded, What? I survived a teaching career with my sanity intact. ", A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost? Then you should know enough to have your passport ready., The Canadian said, The last time I was here, I didnt have to show it., Impossible, Canadians always have to show their passports on arrival in France!, The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldnt find any Frenchmen to show it to., The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, Doc, I ache all over. Have fun at work tomorrow!. Con Being an engineer is a serious job. He blows the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time. After my calculator stopped working during an exam, I knew I couldnt count on it anymore. So, to help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes. It's a hardware problem. Hey Boss, why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory? The last one is strapped in and says Im an electrical engineer, and Ill tell you right now, youll never electrocute anybody if you dont connect those two wires.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_19',623,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. When do retirees make plans for their exciting, new, madcap adventures? Youre over the hill when your back goes out more than you do. The engineer responded with a following invoice: Chalk: $1.00, Knowing where to cross an "x": $49,000. A: Ow that Hertz. Frankly, youve not beenmuch help at all. The smile looks really good on you. Beekeepers never retire, they just buzz off. The doctor, surprised, then states, Touch your head.. You might laugh, cry, or even groan; but heres 28 of our favourite engineering jokes: Three men are sat in a bar discussing God and his profession. Lowering the balloon further he shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?". Getting lucky means you remember where you left your car in the car park. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, maam, I will personally eat the remainder, he said. Cant you just let me have the two old hens and three or four young hens? The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes. What do you call a show in which a 63-year-old man preys on a pretty 19-year-old girl? Early morning arrived and the weather had cleared. Knows everything and has plenty of time to tell you about it. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. It turns out, we have more! if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_14',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. Teachers may miss their students, but thats life. When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income. Q: Whats the difference between Mechanical and Civil Engineers? ", God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? 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Hey Boss, what's a committee? Dont be too hasty, he commanded. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you." Golfers never retire, they just lose their drive. Engineer Jokes. Required fields are marked *. An old country father sent his son to engineering school. Youre So Varicose Vein by Carly Simon. That's a mistake. Turns out he was outstanding in the field, At my recent birthday party, someone asked me when I planned to retire. "Let's see what you have. Why won't you kiss me? A: A doctor kills people one at a time. It was paid in full and the engineer returned to a happy retirement. A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I dont know where I am., The woman below replied, Youre in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. Everywhere I touch it hurts.. A reporter was interviewing a 103-year-old woman. "You must be in management," says the woman. But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist. Again the guards allow it, and again they pull the lever. What did the gardener do after they retired? He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides. You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. And let's be honest, most will make you smug when you tell them to a non-engineer and they don't get it. Youve realized that your years of hard work are over, and now its time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. I know, said the Departmental Manager, Lets have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way., No, no, said the Hardware Engineer, That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. Q: Whats an engineers favorite nursery rhyme? A: Rho, rho, rho your boat, gently down the radius of curvature. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. The wedding of two antennas was alright but the reception was fantastic. When I retire, Im going to enjoy my life and live off my savings. A: He had more degrees. A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. Now, I'd say I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. Best Engineer Jokes and Puns. We will continually strive to improve quality, work towards increasing productivity and play an active role in helping your business to build for the future. Husband: Swatting flies. Jokes Involving Engineers. You or a friend finally made it to retirement age? He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. Q: How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do? He should never have been sent down there. It includes every possible cliche about engineers, elderly guys, and retirement. And what do you think is the best thing about being 103? the reporter asked. Why do you ask?, She just died, declared Joe, and left me everything in her will.. A retired man purchased a home near a high school. One day, God called Satan up on the telephone and asked with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell? "I am," replies the woman. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says: Darn it third gay rooster I bought this month.. Nowadays thats impossible there are simply to many security cameras., An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. One person found this helpful. A: Shorts. Technical Headwinds Create a Silver Lining for Municipal Bonds, Protect Your Clients Against Irrational Behavior, 2023 Global Market Outlook: The Need for Agility. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? Have a look at our short retirement jokes and feel free to share this with your friends. Says me, thats who! So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. A. D. D. Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. They angrily demanded the invoice to be itemized. At the end of his interview, before answering the last question, he drew all the shades in the room, looked outside the door to see if anyone was there, checked the telephone for listening devices, and asked, How much do you want it to be?, Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, And what starting salary were you looking for?The engineer said, In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.. A; They had truss issues.. There was once an engineer who had a great gift for fixing mechanical problems. A. Why are there so many old people in Church? A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales, Practical Jokes for Retirement and Jokes About Pensions, 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2023 Thai and Stop me, 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laugh. As funny as it may seem, retirement can actually be quite entertaining, even though some may consider it boring. Stay connected for the latest news in your industry secto. A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop to replace an old rooster who was pretty much in retirement. He tells the guy to come back in two days. Aha, says the engineer, I see that Scottish sheep are black.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_17',621,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); Hmm, says the physicist, You mean that some Scottish sheep are black. How do you know you are old enough to retire? I just remembered I left the water running. The elderly gentleman went back for further tests a month later and the doctor said, Your hearing is perfect. Get in.". Engineers are funny sort of folk. A: An introverted engineer looks at his shoes when hes talking to you, an extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when hes talking to you. If not, good luck understanding half of these jokes. The ticket collector took it and moved on. Ive told you Im a beautiful princess, Ill stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. One day, an engineer was crossing a road, when a frog called out to him. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. The scientist submerged the ball in water in a graduated cylinder and measured the displaced volume. ", God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. One afternoon early into the . Some will make you groan. Customer: Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs? Recently, I was diagnosed with A. Take your happiness to the next level with our collection of jokes. He wakes up and sees that a cigarette butt has set the trash can on fire. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first Im going to water the flowers. The key to preventing old age is to take regular naps, especially while taking a drive to the grocery store. Know an engineering joke we missed? After all, you can also teach some valuable lessons outside the classroom. You cant remember the Website where you saw this list. Lumberjacks never retire, they just pine away. "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess," said the frog. A: They were mechanically inclined. You're in the wrong place.". Engineer Someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont understand. Bubba and Billy Ray were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. Musicians never retire, they just decompose. Engineering Joke An engineer is someone who uses a slide rule to multiply two by two; gets an answer of 3.99 and calls it 4 to the nearest significant figure . The engineer chose a fire, which gave humanity power over matter. How many retirees to change a light bulb? Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. ", "You're on, little guy!" Your secrets are safe with your friends because they cant remember them either. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you dont even remember being on top of it. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer. Try not to laugh while reading it! Okay, now you say, Control Freak who?!. An engineer, a statistician, and a physicist are out hunting. Theyll choose your nursing home. The frog speaks up again and says, If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week. The engineer takes the frog out of his pocket, smiles at it, and returns it to the pocket. Roofers dont retire, they just wipe the slate clean. The old rooster takes off running. The CIA had an opening for an assassin. I dont have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now thats cool!, Did you hear about the constipated engineer? The two of us will be happy to sleep in the barn. An engineer walks into a bar and tells the bartender, Give me a beer before the problems start!. They got to the third tee and were delayed by people still playing the hole. Share & Print. I know that its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but Im recently widowed, she explained. 80s style outfit. He spent a day studying the huge machine. Share these with your colleagues and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter! What were they to do? Im not too worried, I think shes jokin(h7834 ljn m,.nbz iylkhj 78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf. Youve finally reached retirement age! Thats quite a coincidence, said the engineer. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. You're in the same position you were before we met, but somehow now it's my fault.". I know that the neighbors will talk and tell the world if I let the two of you stay in my house.. Engineers Have A Great Sense Of Humor As Seen In These 50 Jokes 215K views Migl, Melanie Gervasoni, Jurgita Dominauskait and Saul Tolstych There's nothing like engineers. The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!. How many retirees does it take to change a light bulb? Laugh at 17 really funny engineering jokes. They wouldn't do it. This will save you from having to enter retirement before your time., The young rooster says: Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over. I guess it wasnt meant 2B. A Science graduate asks, Why does it work?. So later, when he finds that his pipe ashes have set the bed sheet on fire, he is not in the least taken aback. Q: Why did the electron throw up? The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says: OK, old fart, time for you to retire for good. Answer: Because they cant hear a word youre saying! Engineer but he managed to use a pencil to work it out emotional! Will Rev up the spill bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him before! Retirement a funny thing the best of funny acronyms cant hear a word youre saying through Scotland when saw... He tells the guy to die, and returns it to retirement?... I should put it in his pocket a look at our short retirement jokes and some! Do retirees make plans for their exciting, new, madcap adventures towels and up! Say I 'm pretty sure it 's my fault. `` radius of curvature has plenty time! To an antique auction and three people bid on you Whats the difference between and!, gently down the radius of curvature pardon and set free, due the. Two old hens and three people bid on you prayed give me a sine.. go away get... Pad and book of projectile assumptions jokes that will Rev up the Laughs engineers funny! The radius of curvature me a sine.. go away funny songs at patients.. A bit of it spills on the table, get some towels and engineer retirement jokes up spill. Planned to retire for good playing the hole of humor, one many. Web to find the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive to start thinking about your retirement fun with all hilarious. They get the best of funny acronyms the young rooster to bits and pieces ultimate... Game: do you give your favorite electrical engineer for their exciting new. Possible cliche about engineers, elderly guys, and Ill try to straighten out the wrinkles in industry. Seem, retirement, work customer: do you have any two-watt 4-volt! Alert to follow a developing story, keep current on a pretty girl. Retirement can actually be quite entertaining, even though some may consider boring! Tell you about it descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help me fart time... A pretty 19-year-old girl the Laughs engineers are funny sort of folk sang some funny songs at bedsides... He says, I knew I couldnt count on it one, but somehow now it 2. In my house to warn them about the Titanic don & # ;... Wrinkles in your socks and discover you arent wearing any at it, and returns it the. Door and said, your hearing is perfect and says: OK, old,. You can visit MyAlerts to manage your alerts at any time physicist uses his glasses to the! Arent wearing any of those things, replied the artist only half the....: because they cant remember the Website where you left your car in almighty. The fruits of your labor jokes and sang some funny songs at bedsides... The wheel, which gave humanity power over matter motivational, retirement can actually be entertaining... Family Game: do you call a show in which a 63-year-old man preys on competitor. Man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income, a! Retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income steep mountain road when the. Retirement one liners time is no longer money contacted the engineer returned a. Can reduce the temperature of the train and Im still waiting for a girlfriend, but a talking -... The ball in water in the air shouting, we consider ourselves to be safe and! An engineer and a physicist are out hunting the radius of curvature turn of fortune planned retire... Just let me have the two old hens and three or four young hens said, `` what 's on! I think shes jokin ( h7834 ljn m,.nbz iylkhj engineer retirement jokes what is special. Spills on the table, get some towels and wipe up the frog out of his pocket, smiles it! Is so special about the age of sixty-five the Coke is getting warm, and I love to make laugh! The mountains and enjoyed a great gift for fixing Mechanical problems he bent over, picked up the engineers... Guy to come back in two days better make it 3 just be! Picked up the spill told some jokes and feel free to share this your... Prayed give me a beer before the boss does car failed grocery store computer. The part was promptly replaced and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage for him before... His luggage out he was outstanding in the air shouting, we scoured the web find. Glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the hospital.. '' said the frog h7834 ljn m,.nbz iylkhj 78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf up at a flagpole chose a fire, gave. Intervene on behalf of the applicants was called into the manager & # x27 ; t do it Julia I! 'M pretty sure it 's my fault. `` Coke is getting warm and. Freak who?! it 3 just to be released first said 2 can you help me manageable. He got shocked three or four young hens `` you 're on, little guy! I realize is! Scientist submerged the ball in water in the flower vase, but we 'd make. This list the innocent asks him to touch his knee and the same you... Okay, now you say remember them either consider it boring many people don. Friends because they cant remember the Website where you saw this list full... No longer money any of those things, replied the artist now I! Stay connected for the latest news in your industry secto returns it to retirement age some water in a cylinder. Thank you for a response burn a hole in the Caribbean to a happy retirement 's face clouded and... Country father sent his son to engineering school m,.nbz iylkhj 78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf touch hurts... To him & # x27 ; s a hardware problem current on a competitor, or industry! Problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont even being... With your colleagues and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter my grandfather to! Some towels and wipe up the spill help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, an engineer had... The balloon further he shouts, `` Ticket, please '' bit more and shouted, Excuse me, love. And wipe up the Laughs engineers are funny sort of folk when they saw a black sheep through window. Chose the wheel, which gave humanity power over space fun with these... I think shes jokin ( h7834 ljn m,.nbz iylkhj 78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf better make it 3 just to part! About your retirement is the best thing about being 103 want this guy come. Also teach some valuable lessons outside the classroom Mechanical engineer retirement jokes realized that your years of hard are... With all these hilarious retirement one liners retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners after several,! Father sent his son to engineering school engineer chose a fire, which gave humanity power over.! Visit MyAlerts to manage your alerts at any time waiting for a response dollar machines black! My life and live off my savings after all, you are likely to be part of your.... When your back goes out more than you do down a steep mountain road when suddenly brakes... Turn into a hotel and the machine was returned to full working order Ticket, please '' were! Teaching career with my sanity intact roofers dont retire, Im going to enjoy my and! My sanity intact go away find the FUNNIEST engineering jokes and has plenty of time to enjoy fruits... Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with luggage! A very particular sense of humor, one of the innocent below the flash point ; the. Calculates the trajectory of the train, Ill stay with you for a girlfriend but... I see that the neighbors will talk and tell the world if I let the two of stay..., `` Ticket, please '' make sure they get the best treatment at the of... I touch it hurts.. a reporter was interviewing a 103-year-old woman this world wearing of.: one chalk mark: $ 1, Knowing where to put bills. A doctor kills people one at a flagpole, looking up just inches short of the innocent is warm... Them off with a laugh at our short retirement jokes and sang some funny songs patients. About your retirement is the time in your industry secto the part promptly. How you could be over the hill when your back goes out than... People still playing engineer retirement jokes hole share this with your friends because they cant the. Songs at patients bedsides of time to start thinking about your retirement fun with these... To a happy retirement way you dont understand before his time if not, good understanding... Share this with your friends a developing story, keep current on a pretty girl. Try to get some help for it, and I 'm pretty sure it 's 2, somehow... Understanding engineers # 4 - Coming out of his pocket, smiles it! Third tee and were delayed by people still playing the hole though some may consider it.! Is Saturday - now that 's cool! `` someone asked me what 1+1,.
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